“How Inviting Strangers to Pubs Became a Heartwarming Campaign After Losing My Best Friend”

A campaign aimed at combating loneliness by encouraging strangers to engage in conversations in pubs has achieved a significant milestone, marking its 1,000th event. Dean Perryman, aged 30, has been inviting individuals he has never met to join him in pubs across the UK since December of last year, as part of his Empty Chairs initiative. The founder, based in Stratford, East London, developed the concept following the heartbreaking suicide of his closest friend, Rob Clancy, who was just 29 years old, one month prior. With a determination to prevent others from feeling similarly isolated, Dean began visiting local pubs clad in a distinctive bright orange hoodie, making himself easily identifiable to anyone seeking companionship.

A Celebration of Connection in Essex

Two weeks ago, he hosted the 1,000th gathering of the campaign in Leigh-on-Sea, Essex, with approximately 12 attendees present. Dean expressed immense pride in the journey thus far, stating, “It has been such an incredible experience. I am loving every second of it still. When I started, it came from such a place of sadness, and to see how this simple idea has been able to help so many people has been really nice.” He further elaborated, “I have been able to meet and connect with so many new people and learn about them. It gives people an opportunity to speak openly if they need it.”

Dean, who is employed by team-building game company Chicken Rush, utilised the firm’s substantial social media presence to generate interest in the meet-ups. Initially launched in London and Essex, the campaign has expanded significantly, with volunteers now hosting events across the UK and even internationally. Upcoming gatherings are scheduled in cities such as Manchester, Bedford, Cambridge, Skegness, Gloucester, Leeds, York, Wrexham, and beyond. The initiative has also reached locations outside the UK, including Colombia, Spain, the United Arab Emirates, and Australia.

Fostering Lasting Friendships

Many participants return to the events repeatedly, particularly in smaller rural communities, forming enduring friendships that transcend the gatherings themselves. Dean, who has personally attended 61 of these meet-ups, highlights his favourite aspect: witnessing men open up about their struggles, creating a safe environment for such conversations. “Some people come because they really want someone to listen to what they have to say. Others come because they have the capacity to be there for someone else,” he explained.

He continued, “Everyone shares their own story, but it stays at the table. We’ve discussed the challenges of living in a large city and feeling isolated, but nothing is off the table – we’ve talked about everything and anything. To provide people with a space to talk when they need to is incredible.”

A Bright Future Ahead

With around 200 additional events already planned, Dean shows no inclination to slow down. Reflecting on reaching the milestone of 1,000 events, he observes that there is no typical attendee, with each gathering attracting a wonderfully diverse group. “At every Empty Chairs event, you will encounter people from all walks of life. It is so powerful to demonstrate that, regardless of who you are, there is a place for you. We welcome everyone – men, women, young, old. There truly isn’t a barrier to entry; whoever needs the space is encouraged to join. Many attend because they feel lonely in a new area or wish to make new friends,” he added.

Dean aspires for his Empty Chairs campaign to serve as a lasting tribute to his best friend Rob, whom he feels would have benefited from such a supportive environment. “He was the kindest, sweetest guy you could ever hope to meet. Like many men, he wasn’t the most forthcoming with his feelings. He was the life and soul of any gathering, yet he often struggled to express if he was feeling down. To be in a position now where Empty Chairs could become a legacy for Rob is astounding,” he concluded.